A couple years back, I was planning a Young Adult conference, and in my mind, this conference was going to be huge!! I lined up the best speakers and band, along with food and games to keep us entertained. I spent hours over the course of several months planning and praying about this event. Confident every young adult within a 30 mile radius would surely show up, I had a pastor from texas flown in, ordered tee shirts, the whole nine yards. This event was bound to be amazing!! The day finally arrived and to my surprise and disappointment, the event brought in a whole 25-30 people.
It was an amazing night for those of us who came, but I still walked away that night feeling like a complete failure as an event planner and frankly as a young adult leader. In my mind I had failed God, I couldn’t even get people in the doors for His event. I struggled for a while afterward, feeling inadequate of what God called me to, whether it were an event or teaching my small group each week. Thankfully, I have an awesome sauce pastor who spoke some wise words one day in a meeting, he said, “you don’t do this for me, you do it for Him (Christ)”. He wasn’t specifically addressing my situation, but it definitely spoke to my heart about my situation. I realized I made it about my abilities and I had lost my confidence of what God could do through me. The reality is, when I lose confidence in me, I’ve lost it in the one who created me. God knew me before I was born and what he’d have me do. Who am I to question my abilities? He created me equipped to do what he’s called me to. It didn’t matter if we had 25 people or 500 show up that night, I didn’t fail because God, the great I Am, doesn’t fail. God accomplished what he needed that night despite any shortcomings I may have seen in myself. And furthermore, my heart was 100% in what he told me to do, so that my friends is not a fail.
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.” Hebrews 10:35