What if, that seems to be my go-to line when visiting with the most high lately. I feel like my prayer time turns into convincing God that He’s got the wrong girl. Surely He made a mistake when He went down His list of to-dos, my name got mixed up with Cathy. It happens often enough and I am willing to bet God made a mistake, too! HA! In all seriousness though, the what ifs are an undeniable battle for me. The unknown is frightening and I’m doing my best to fight fear and just do it afraid, but what a challenge that seems to be.
Recently God has begun to reveal to me a vision for 2018. An idea, to be honest, I feel utterly incapable of handling. If I’ve ever needed faith, now is the time. I’ve asked the Lord more times than I can count already, what if. What if I fail? Lord, are you sure this is for me and for now? I have so many other obligations in my life, what if I can’t manage it all?
As I began to seek wisdom in His word, God reminded me of a time in scripture that a specific queen likely had the same “what if” fears that I too am facing. Let me tell you a bit about Queen Esther. She was a beautiful, Jewish orphan who had been raised by her cousin Mordecai. God strategically positioned her, an orphan, in an incredible way to save her people. The queen before Esther was Queen Vashti and her disobedience toward King Ahasuerus (Xerxes) cost her her royalty. Vashti is removed, and this is where Esther’s story begins.
I’d love to tell you all the details of her life, but for lack of time and space, you’ll have to read them for yourself. But Haman, the King’s right-hand man plots to kill all the Jewish people. That doesn’t sit too well with Mordecai or Esther, naturally; they’re Jews. So Esther has a choice to make: She can sit back and hope someone steps up to save her and the people, or she can take action herself as she is in the perfect position to do so. The Queen is well aware of what can happen if she disobeys the king’s laws, but she knows that’s what needs to be done.
Go and assemble all the Jews who can be found in Susa and fast for me. Don’t eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my female servants will also fast in the same way. After that, I will go to the king even if it is against the law. If I perish, I perish. Esther 4:16 (CSB)
I don’t know what visions or dreams are staring you in the face, but I know God has plenty of them to go around. He isn’t looking for perfect people who have life figured out; He’s looking for obedient and willing people. I can imagine Esther was terrified, “what if I die?” but she didn’t let the unknown, the what ifs, stop her. She pressed on, and God used her to save her people. God wants to use you for something incredible this year, will you allow Him to work through you or let the what-ifs steal your vision? I plan to press on, even if I fail or look foolish in the sight of man. Having faith is risky, but if there weren’t risk, you wouldn’t need faith.
If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed. Proverbs 29:18 (MSG)